Let’s be honest, finding the right words to express yourself can be tough at the best of times, let alone when you are trying to articulate who you are and what you’re about. Women are impressed by a man who can engage in an interesting two-way conversation and gaining an understanding of body language can go a long way towards enhancing your communication skills. In fact, knowing how to use body language can help you to get your message across without saying a word.
Say What You Mean
Body language is something you are already using in everyday life without even being consciously aware of it. The posture and body movements you use all “speak” for you without uttering a word so the key to using body talk to attract women is to ensure that your non-verbal signals are conveying your message and “saying” what you want to say. To do this, you must first become more aware of the body language you are currently using. Body language includes every signal you may be giving, whether voluntary or involuntary, with common examples as follows:
- Head movements – the angle of your head as well as the nods, shakes and any other movements you make can emphasise the words you use … or speak for you.
- Facial expressions – a smile, frown, or “look” on your face can speak volumes!
- Shoulder movements – a shrug of your shoulders can send a loud message but the angle and positioning of your shoulders can also say a lot about your emotional state and confidence.
- Arm placements – the positioning of your arms can signal approachability or hostility so simply being aware of your arm placement can make the difference between being invited into conversations and being avoided!
- Leg and feet placements – the direction in which you cross your legs or position your toes can subconsciously signal interest or disinterest in someone. Understanding the subtleties can also help you to gauge a woman’s interest in you.
- Hand and finger gestures – hand positions in certain contexts have been found to indicate everything from sexual interest to blatant lying!
- Handling and placement of objects – fiddling with objects such as pens or “playing” with clothing or jewellery can send out hidden messages that reveal what’s on your mind without realising it!
We all use body language but it’s a complex language that can easily be misinterpreted. It’s often split into “open” or “closed” categories with open gestures such as palms upwards considered friendly and inviting, and closed gestures such as folded arms considered hostile and uninviting. However, it’s quite possible for a woman to have her arms folded yet in every other way display open, friendly body language … she could just be cold! Being too conscious of body language and too focused on isolated movements or gestures can lead to “reading” too much into a situation.
Experts say that the potential for misinterpretation can be lowered by looking for “clusters” of body language that provide a much clearer message. We all pick up on basic body language signals intuitively, so by looking at the posture, facial expressions and gestures someone is using, we can tell whether they’re happy, sad, angry, worried, excited, or any other emotion without necessarily being able to hear a word they’re saying.
Crucially, we can also tell how sincere they are being: for example, a friend might say they like the new way you’ve styled your hair but you intuitively know when they’re lying, right? Using your own body language to your advantage becomes easier when you begin to question what it is about the body language of others that allows you to intuitively interpret the real message they’re sending out. When you can answer that question, you can begin to make sure that the body language you use is sending out clear messages that are going to be interpreted in the way you want them to be … and the way you intended.
Keep It Real
Learning to understand every nuance of body language is a skill that takes years of dedicated practice but at a more basic level, the key to using your body language to attract women is to be natural. Trying to be someone you’re not is not attractive; it just makes you appear awkward at best and makes you someone who can’t be trusted at worst. Trying to use body language to be someone you’re not amounts to the same thing.
To be natural, you need to pay attention to the body language you naturally use in everyday, familiar situations. When you’re with your mates and you’re genuinely happy and relaxed, what body language do you use when you’re talking and when you’re listening? When you’re genuinely confident about something, what body language do you use to emphasise your confidence?
Being seen as someone who is happy, relaxed and confident instantly boosts your attractiveness in a woman’s eyes: and being aware of your natural body language in a familiar environment makes it possible to consciously send out the same signals on first meeting a woman without coming across as “fake” or trying to be someone you’re not. However, with that said, it’s worth noting that the majority of signals you send out to let a woman know of your interest are sent out subconsciously, and in most cases they should be left that way. Trying to force signs of attraction could lead to you coming across as a bit of a lech!
The bottom line is that you attract women in exactly the same way that you attract friends. Both your personality and your mood are reflected in your body language so be yourself, but promote your best self by consciously using the body language you know reflects the real you and, most importantly, the “you” that your friends love to hang-out with.
A guy who is clearly relaxed, confident, and comfortable in his own skin is much more attractive than a guy who appears to be stiff, awkward, and ultimately trying too hard. Friends naturally get physical with one another and women are attracted to men who are not “afraid” to get physical with them. Guys who are relaxed in one another’s company pat each other’s shoulders, punch each other on the arm, or ruffle one another’s hair in the course of a normal conversation and women reach out to touch their friends by putting their hands on each other’s arms, linking arms, or putting their arms around one another.
Close contact is a normal part of being relaxed and at ease around other people and demonstrates self-confidence.
Confidence is an attractive trait in a man and confidently taking the lead in social situations by putting your arm around a woman’s waist to guide her across a crowded room or putting your arm on her shoulder to bring her closer so that you can hear what she’s saying at a noisy party are great ways to send out the message that you know how to “take care” of her without saying a word … that’s a message that gets a woman’s attention!
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